The first sparks of a budding relationship, and the sparks that allow established relationships to continue thriving for that matter, lie within flirtation. The idea of flirting can be quite exciting for many, but also rather daunting for others. Flirting is nothing more than playful interaction and should be enjoyed rather than taken too seriously or learned as a skill, as it differs from person to person. Ultimately, the person on the other end should enjoy your company, unique personality and style of flirtation. However, the following items may help you how to flirt, detect if someone is flirting with you, and also understand how you can personally flirt back, if you wish. You will eventually develop your own flair and connection with those you are attracted to. But if you feel apprehensive in any way, take the following into consideration! And always remember to just have fun.
How to tell if a guy is flirting with you In order to flirt back, you must first learn to discern any signals a guy may be sending you. As I will mention, this advice will vary from person to person, but here are the most obvious signs of interest I observe in guys, based on personal experience.
1) He talks to you often
Though this isn’t a sure fire sign, in that speaking to someone often may also be a sign that they are interested in being friends, if a guy talks to you frequently and puts obvious effort into seeking your attention, he is definitely interested in some capacity. Take notice if he seems eager to start conversations more than usual, or if he goes out of his way to contact you, ie: if he asks for your number or texts you recurrently. By the same reasoning, if you often try to contact someone and he scarcely responds or isn’t very talkative, he probably isn’t interested, and it’s in your best interest to move on to someone more compatible!
It’s important to take into consideration the different communication styles of men and women. While women sometimes tend to read into situations, men are quite literal. Thus, if he acts interested, he probably is, and if he doesn’t, it’s probably worth it to move on (see “How to Talk to Guys”).
2) He jokes around with you
Again, though this can also signify the growth of a friendship, one of the most obvious signs I’ve noticed in the way men flirt lies within the way they make you laugh. If you find yourself laughing quite a lot with a guy, or if he intentionally teases you in a playful way, he probably likes you. That’s not to say anything insulting should be taken as flirtation. Rather, if he lightheartedly pokes fun at you and overall creates an atmosphere of fun, it’s a great sign.
3) He gets closer to you
Some pretty indicative body language lies within distance. If a guy leans in closer or moves closer to you when he talks, embrace it. It’s instinctive to want to be closer to those we are attracted to, so keep an eye out for these noticeable mannerisms. Even a brush of the hand, friendly pat on the arm, or hug can mean business, as long as you are ok with it! As things move along, an arm around your shoulders or handholding is a major indication that he is into you, which brings us to the next point.
4) Playful Touch
Though you should never be afraid to speak up if touch makes you uncomfortable, different types of playful touching can be a clear indicator that a guy likes you. Perhaps you are setting at a table and he reaches over to touch your hand during a conversation, he brushes a lock of hair out of your face, or he gives you a hug. Again, it is instinctual to want to form a closer bond with someone through touch when attracted to him or her, so if you notice that he goes in for personal contact, it’s a good sign!
How to flirt back
1) Give compliments
One of the simplest ways to make it clear that you like someone is to compliment him. Don’t smother him, but whenever you get the chance, give the guy you are interested in a genuine compliment, whether it be on his new haircut, whatever he happens to be wearing, or perhaps a recent accomplishment. Let him know what you like about him, while also utilizing the next point….smile!
Smiling is a huge indicator that you are enjoying yourself, and can be very flirtatious depending on how you use it. Smile when he greets you, when you talk to each other, and basically whenever you are with him, unless engaging in a serious conversation or it doesn’t feel natural. If you spot him across the room, give him a playful smile, maybe even a wink if you are feeling daring, and approach him for conversation. Be sure not to feign enthusiasm, but if you truly like him, make it clear through facial expression.
3) Talk to him often
Just as regular contact from a guy probably means he likes you, contacting him regularly lets him know that you are into him. Don’t totally bombard his inbox, but talk to him often as long as he seems to be receiving it well. Send good morning or good night texts….or both! Ask him how his days go, what he is up to, and maybe even initiate a date. Let him know you are thinking about him.
4) Reciprocate what you observe
Mirroring is mentioned in a lot of psychology research as a sign of attraction. If you observe a guy flirting with you in a certain way and you are interested, copy him! Reciprocate his body language, poking fun, and conversation topics. Easy to remember and extremely effective.