In today’s dating world it can be profusely confusing to gage someone else’s feelings toward you. Many guys might agree to be platonic but have ulterior motives. Sometimes when someone suggests “hanging out” you’re not sure if you’re just hanging out or “hanging out”. God forbid someone suggest the old “Netflix and chill”, leaving you to wonder if this is an invitation for sex or if you’re a deranged pervert for being so presumptuous. As with all things, it’s best to be as straightforward as possible if you’re confused. It can save everyone a bundle of time. But if you’re looking for cues and hints, we have some “tells” that might suggest signs he likes you.
Scientific endeavors have shown that our pupils dilate when we like something. You don’t want to get two inches from his face to try and measure this, obviously, but if you’re observant you might catch it. The reason our pupils do this is thought to be because we want to invite more of the pleasurable visual stimulus in. Our pupils dilating allow more light, and therefore more of the image of our affections, to enter our vision. This is the response of our autonomic nervous system. A developmental psychologist at Cornell University, Ritch Savin-Williams, conducted a large study with his colleague Gerulf Rieger, recruiting 165 men and 160 women of various sexual orientations to confirm a link between pupil dilation and sexual arousal. Specifically this study was also to see if they could thusly determine a person’s sexual orientation by to gage their pupils’ reactions to separate one-minute videos of a man masturbating, a woman masturbating and neutral landscape scenes. Lighting was also made constant so that it wouldn’t disrupt results. The results showed that pupil dilation matches the pattern seen in genital arousal studies. It is interesting to note that straight women respond to sexual images, regardless of gender, even though they report that they are turned on by the men. Men’s mechanisms are pretty simple, and this article is to help us understand them in particular. Luckily they’re not so complicated. They are visually stimulated creatures, as we know, and their pupils respond accordingly. If his eyes reveal the dilation and he even looks a little hungry, this is a sign that a guy likes you. A quick disclaimer though, this sign is no guarantee that he’s into you, your persona. He might just find you sexually attractive. Those things are not mutually exclusive but nor are they mutually inclusive.
The feet are known as being a big tell in terms of attraction. They subconsciously will indicate whether we are truly invested in a conversation as well, or whether we want to leave. As a general rule, the feet are the compass of desire, pointing toward where we want to go or who we want to approach. If his feet, and even better, his whole body, are undoubtedly facing you, then he is interested. If he leans in, breaking your personal space bubble by just an inch or so, this is also a great sign that the guy likes you.
Prolonged eye contact is also a sign of physical attraction and interest. When talking to a casual acquaintance, most of us don’t take the time to really look a person in the eyes as we have a dialogue. We might glance all over the place. But if a guy is keeping his eyes rather locked on you throughout the conversation, this is another suggestive sign that the guy likes you.
He Remembers Things You Have Said or Mentioned
This one can backfire or be less applicable if you just so happen to have known the person a really long time. But if things are relatively new in the game and you notice he will often repeat back a story you told, or mention something you said you liked, this is an indicator that he’s actually putting in the effort to get to know you. And I’m sure we’d like to all think we’re this altruistically nice as friends and companions, but truthfully, we really don’t put as much effort into our friendships as we do our romantic interests. So if he remembers that really goofy story about you pissing yourself on an airplane, even though that sounds pretty memorable to begin with, it shows he’s paying attention to your stories. If he’s really trying to get at your likes and dislikes and commit them to memory, he wants to impress you.
He Doesn’t Just Complement the Way You Look, He Compliments You on Your Personality
Anyone can tell you that you look hot. In fact, you’ve probably had a few typical creepers on social media telling you how “fine dat booty” is. If he compliments aspects of who you are, well at least you know he actually cares about the person you embody. Perhaps, with compliments, it is good to strike a balance. If he is complimenting your looks as well as personality, he likely thinks of you as a potential candidate for romance. If he ONLY compliments your personality, he could just be a nice dude that has no sexual interest in you. And of course, if he only ever compliments your appearance, stay away because he likely sees you as just a vagina with legs and not a mind.
He Tells You That He Likes You
Now wouldn’t it just be marvelously convenient if people would just tell us if they like us? Well, the thing is, they often do. There are many men that might be shy, and then also they might be trying to gage the right time to tell you, in order to minimize potential awkwardness. But if a guy really wants to get in there and pursue you, he doesn’t want your gaze wandering to someone else, making it too late for him. Because of this, men won’t take forever to tell you that they like you. It might take a little bit of time, but not gratuitous amounts of time. So, if you’re wondering about a guy that you’ve been hanging out with for seven months, waiting for senpai to notice you, the odds are he’s not interested, at least not enough to really get you while he has the shot. Humans are opportunists with love, mating, and dating. If he’s letting an opportunity with you just slip by week after week, month after month, he’s either cripplingly shy and insecure, or just plain not into it.