Sometimes it might be more difficult to flirt over a screen as opposed to in person. Both have their pros and cons. In person you have all kinds of props. You can read and gage body language to figure out if they’re picking up what you’re putting down. You can make subtle gestures that indicate your affection, intentions, and desires. Over screen, these motions all get converted into text, emojis, and gifs to attempt to communicate the same things. And so, we wonder to ourselves, how to text a guy. Maybe you don’t know how you’re coming across. We also live in the dreaded age of “Omg, Becky he’s not texting me back!” Sometimes we are given what sound like algebraic formulas from our friends about the when’s how’s and what’s to text a guy. Well, we have some Do’s and Don’ts on how to flirt with a guy over text that should hopefully make this conundrum all simpler for you.
Take advantage of the fact that it’s easier to be bold with the security blanket of technology
After doing a bit of research on the internet about men and texting, from a guy’s perspective, it appears they just don’t want to be bored. Typing feels tedious to some of us. However, it seems to be more tedious for men than for women. So saying generic things does not help. Being bold can be a good way to cut the boredom. This approach might vary from person to person. Maybe you’re in the midst of a conversation and you throw in a vulgar story that he didn’t expect from you. It’s less stressful doing this over a screen, so take advantage of how easy it is. This is an opportunity to have a blunt sense of humor. Say things that truly cause intrigue, if you intend to have a conversation over text. Be witty and cunning when you can.
Compliment them when they say something cute
It’s certainly okay to validate him here or there. Sometimes men will say something along the lines of “I know that’s lame”, or “I know that’s embarrassing”. This is your magical cue! Tell him that you actually think it’s an interesting quirk. Or tell him that you find it cute. Depending on where you’re at tell him it gets you hot and bothered (don’t come on too strong in the beginning). Men seem to appreciate a lady that is emotionally supportive and not too judgmental of the quirks they have that they might feel a little flustered or emasculated about.
Use Gifs and emojis in a delicate amount
This is an important area in how to text a guy. Gifs and emojis are fine, if they’re used to complement the text and not make up the bulk of the text. They should be used as clever punch lines. Or just here and there to convey extra emotion. I use the salt analogy a lot but emojis and gifs are like salt for your text. Don’t over-salt your food!
According to more male advice from an actual man, they appreciate text that suggests some sort of action. They prefer activity. Make a short and simple invite to do something that you think would be fun. Be specific. Don’t just say “let’s hang out.” Say exactly what you’d like to go do and when. Be straightforward about your intentions. Being specific communicates that you know what you want and aren’t ridiculously hard to figure out or please.
Take a bit of time to think about what you’re saying before you say it
Take solace in the fact that texting, although it comes with its own hurdles, allows us to take some extra time before we say things. This is not a luxury we get in face-to-face communication. Even when we verbally pause before replies with “ums” and “wells”, the very tone of those filler words can communicate an array of things. But text allows us that bit of silence. It deletes any intermediary communication that we don’t intend to send. Don’t take this luxury for granted and use it to your advantage, not your folly.
Keep replies around five sentences at a maximum.
If men wanted to read a novel, they’d be at the bookstore or actually reading a novel. It might feel natural for many women to communicate this way. They say that our neural pathways fire off at greater speeds and quantities than men’s do. I suppose it can depend on the individual. But generally, when women talk to each other it’s not much of an arduous task at all to read a whole block of words and text conveying everything from breakfast to their feelings about the new Star Wars and then to the strange man on the bus that afternoon. And then we proceed to reply to each thing, like going down a bullet-point list. Men don’t really want to do that. It’s “tedious”. When considering how to text a guy, keep messages concise and get to the point. There’s plenty of room for fanciful stories and talk when you’re in person or over a Skype call. Don’t give them paragraphs to read.
What you don’t want to do
Text him multiple times at five minute intervals, half hour intervals, or even three hour long intervals–send a text and wait–that’s it.
Proceed to declare your undying love and forgiveness when he doesn’t respond
Text Generic things like “Heyyy” or “I’m bored, how is your day?”
Text when you’re stressed. Even if you don’t think so, your emotions of desperation or anger will leak into the text as a vibe. Get collected first
Start swearing and scolding him if he doesn’t respond to you.
This might seem complicated, but that’s only because we can over-complicate things. The trick is to keep things sweet and simple. This isn’t the same as being aloof or apathetic. This isn’t a game of “who cares the least”. No, it is just about getting to the point, keeping things simple enough, and being blunt or straightforward. If you’re in the mental waltz of wondering how long is appropriate to wait for responses, polls suggest that the greater majority of men can take anywhere between an hour and twenty four hours. So rest assured with that. We hope this gives you insight on how to text a guy.
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