You’re helplessly infatuated with him. He’s easy to look at, he’s charming, and he’s witty and kind. You find yourself doodling his name in hearts like you’re in middle school all over again. It’s embarrassing but it happens to the best of us. And once here, you want to know how to make the guy fall for you, of course. You will need chloroform, some booze, and some handcuffs. Also, you will need a step-by-step game plan on how to trick him to loving you. Then, once you have those things, throw them all away. There is no magical way to force someone to love you. As Bonnie Raitt sang, “I can’t make you love me”. I could tell you to laugh at everything he says, and to wear the color red three days a week, but these really don’t have to do with how to make him genuinely fall in love with you. Here’s what you can do to help him notice you, however. Be the damn best you that you can be. That’s all any of us can do. So how do you go about that? Glad you asked. Here is how to make a guy fall for you, in a legitimate way.
Confidence, where does it come from?
Confidence comes from competence. The more you challenge yourself and the more you succeed or overcome your failures, the more confident you will generally feel. Confidence also comes from self knowledge. In general, a lot of our insecurity can stem from not really knowing who we are. It’s hard to feel like you’re in control when you don’t really even understand your own operating manual. But as you blossom in your youth and come to understand your core persona down to a tee, you will begin to accept a lot of things about yourself. You will feel more in charge. And because you know yourself so well, those negative messages you might hear from your outside environment will be less likely to bother you as you learn that they are based on shallow impressions, and not on the years of close self analysis you’ve poured into your self-development. Another aspect of confidence is actually a sense of humility.
Criticism isn’t a threat because you understand that it is the door to self improvement, which are doors we all need to open. So, maybe some of your lacking self esteem can be helped by really getting to know yourself. Have some fun while you’re at it! You might be the most exciting person you ever get to know because who else can you become so intimate with inside and out? Get familiar with your quirks and values and talents and passions. What makes you excited in life and what gives you a feeling of purpose? Having that sense of self and identity is the first step. Confidence is an excellent route in how to keep him interested. People mirror what we give off. And people are attracted to what they like to have within themselves. Also, everyone wants confidence. Thusly, everyone is attracted to it.
Don’t sell all the animals before he puts an offer down on the farm
Call it old fashioned, but keeping an air of mystery does still work in how to make a guy fall for you. It’s not particularly just a male thing. People in general feel better about the things they earn, rather than things they are handed with little effort. Relationships are no different. Easy come, easy go. So simply, don’t give away your whole life story too early. Don’t share your skeletons too soon. Keep some things to yourself, so that you can continually surprise him. Give the relationship a continual momentum. A large bang too soon might just fizzle. You want long and steady. This might also mean not hooking up too early, another old fashioned idea that usually is bemoaned as Puritanism and patriarchy. You don’t need to wear knee high socks and give him “Christian side hugs”. But sometimes putting off the bow-chicka-wow-wow can make him feel that there is more emotional investment in this thing you two have got going. It’s not “just about the sex” and that has been made clear up front. It seems to work for both men and women. Both genders report that when they’re really intrigued by someone, they’re not in a total rush to do the naughty. Just make sure you have well-contemplated sexual ethics and boundaries that work for you.
Truly Embrace Your Life–And don’t Orbit Him
Depending on where you’re at in your life, on top of the roller coaster or at the bottom, you can find ways to embrace whatever you can. Relationships are a sharing of life. If you want to keep him interested, it is good to exemplify that you embrace life as best you can. This should make him more inclined to want to be a part of it. I’ll be honest here; it certainly seems to be easier to reel them in when you’re in the middle of having the time of your life. During these times you exude a joyful glow and probably have more confident body language. But life isn’t always that fantastic, unfortunately. So if you’re going through the lulls and lows, try to at least have a positive attitude about what you can either embrace, or at the least accept. Strength and a strong-will can be attractive too.
The second aspect of this is having your own life separate from his, so that you always have something to share or give. This is easy in the beginning stages but might be something to keep in mind when the two of you are spending oodles of time together. This is a personal secret I picked up on from couples who had been in marriages for decades. I used to do photography, which included anniversary photos. I got in the habit of asking the successful couples “what their secret was”. Many said this one. They stressed how important it was to still have your own autonomy, so that when you joined together, it kept things fresh. Both people had separate lives to bring to the table.
Hopefully this to-do list wasn’t too basic, but it is the wisdom that has held true for eons of time. If you want to know how to make a guy fall for you, it really just comes down to confidence, giving yourself away in increments, and enjoying the life you’re already in. The truth is that if these things don’t work, then he likely wasn’t a compatible match. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Rinse and repeat. Eventually it’ll catch a good match for you.
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