What Attracts Men

You would like to know, what attracts men to women? But I think it’s important to preface this article with a little scientific honesty, even if it’s not exactly romantic. Attraction is based on many things that are certainly not shallow. It can be heavily influenced by our personalities and who we are as people, certainly. We can formulate genuine connections over shared interests and life goals. Or maybe we value life for similar reasons. But it is generally noted that mutual physical attraction can lead to better satisfaction in the long run. It depends on each person’s drive too. Some people marry for companionship, which is fine if both people have mutually low sex drives. But an imbalance between two people can cause deep rifts. And according to an article by Stephen J. Betchen D.S.W., a couple’s counselor, in Psychology Today, that kind of chemistry is not something you can will or muster over time. The article goes on to explain that it did lead some of his clients to splitting up. And nobody seemed to overall dislike their mate. They all expressed guilt over their lacking attractions and cared about their mate’s feelings.

 

So what is this nuisance called “chemistry” based on? Deep down it is based on our built in instincts that signal to us whether a person is a viable person to mate with. The reason this varies from person to person is because we have variant DNA, and our DNA always wants more variety to increase survival chances. What’s good for one person isn’t good for another. Ever noticed a blonde haired blue eyed friend say that they just can’t picture themselves dating a fellow blonde haired blue eyed person, because they feel like that person could be their “brother” or “sister”? There is a reason behind that phenomenon, and it is the craving for genetic variety.

 

Physical chemistry involves all our senses, and primarily involves our brain. Our eyes search for things like facial symmetry. According to “Facial attractiveness: evolutionary based research“, a culmination of research written and by Anthony C. Little, Benedict C. Jones, and Lisa M. DeBruine in 2011, symmetry is affected by a person’s ability to adapt to their environment, appearing in their morphology. Symmetry shows adaptability and therefore is a desirable trait. Asymmetry can also appear as the result of mutation or inbreeding. Faces can also display sexual characteristics. Fertile feminine features include soft skin and softer features in general, whereas abundant testosterone might appear as strong jaw lines and healthy beards. Smell is also a key player in physical attraction. Men who smelled shirts slept in by women at different times of their cycle responded most to the scent given off during ovulation. The response was measured by an increase in testosterone. Similarly, other research shows a woman’s nose is attuned to MHC molecules, which are used for fighting disease. When women smelled male t-shirts, they were attracted to males who gave off MHC molecules that differed from their own.

 

What Do Men Find Attractive?

Now that we’ve touched base on the overwhelming role physical chemistry can play in our dating habits, we can get down to what attracts men to women. You will notice how a lot of these things, however, would be influenced by their biochemistry as well.

• Your voice– believe it or not, this too is influenced by your hormones. Just as men’s voices change during puberty because of testosterone, our voices too are determined by the concentrations of female hormones that we have. This attracts men to women and if a man has good chemistry with you he’s likely to enjoy your voice.

• Your sense of humor– this one sounds like common sense, but it has been studied too. According to an article in Science Daily, a sense of humor can help people measure the extroversion of their mate since the two were linked. But it also indicates good longevity because your relationship will be filled with shared laughs, which leads to fun and reduced stress. So, if you want to pique a man’s interest, laugh at his jokes. Just don’t fake it, except maybe once in a great while. It’s important that you enjoy most of his humor.

• Good Hips– this feature plays a role in indicating how able a woman is in childbearing. Wider, proportioned hips are considered desirable as a beauty standard, since they signal that the woman is more able to carry a child and survive childbirth. Luckily we don’t have the birth mortality rates we used to before modern medicine. But since women used to die back in the day rather often during delivery, this became a key component in our attraction and evolutionary survival, getting buried in our subconscious.

• “Fun and Down to Earth”–How often have you heard this one? Men seem to want to go for the woman that is “fun”, or in other words the woman he can blow off steam with and experience new things with. They often seem to prefer the low maintenance “down to earth” gal because she isn’t so hard to please. Since men really want to please, it can be frustrating trying to please a girl that has so many requirements. So, with that said, a degree of fun-loving, easy-going mentality attracts men to women.

• Similar values–This one speaks for itself. In order to share a path in life together, that path needs to be headed the same direction and that direction is decided by our values, which include political, ethical, and spiritual.

 

The Rest Gets Pretty Subjective

When it comes to what attracts men to women, it can really change depending on the guy. Some guys say they like outspoken strong women. Some men want a dainty shy girl. Some men say they like petite noses while some say they like a more pronounced nose. Some men prefer skinny girls and some men prefer big girls. Some men want women with Asian features and some men want women with Caucasian features. We as women are the same in our variant attractions. Some of us want the lumberjack while others want the suit and tie. Generally, we flock to similar, complementary mindsets, while we are attracted to genes that are different. Maybe this is why compatibility can feel like it goes in two directions with some people.

 

How to Be Irresistible To Men

If you want to know how to attract guys, the RIGHT guys, then it’s best to be you. You want someone truly attracted to your attributes. The best thing to do is to be honest about who you are, know who you are, and have realistic expectations from yourself and from life. And it doesn’t hurt to play up whatever features nature has given you. Be confident in what you can offer. The rest will fall into place.

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